Dearest, Brother

                                                                    

My oldest sister, brother and I

 Dearest Brother,

 The purpose of this letter is to inform you of your significant impact on my life. Every time I think of you I'm In awe.  You, my love, were put through so much and not once did your smile falter. Your presence alone was all I needed to calm the raging storm within my soul. With you by my side all was conquered. I always looked forward to coming home from school and spending time with you. You were always so happy and full of energy. More often that not I wished I had your attitude and zest for life. 

I spent many years wondering whether or not you remembered me, whether or not you were okay. I still remember the day I transferred to a new school and ran into you during lunch period.  I was speechless, I wasn't sure it was really you. God that day was the most painful and most exciting day of my life. Ever since you were taken away, I have never been the same. I remember approaching you and thinking you hadn't changed a bit. You still had your zest for life. You were able to look at life In a way I couldn't comprehend. Till this day it amazes me that you still have that child like quality even after all you've been through. You were abandoned by the one person who should have been there for you. You were placed in the hands of the Government without a second thought.  How lonely are you? What do you think about at night? Do you hate us? I want you to know that you have always been in my thoughts. Not one day goes by that I don't think of you. What was done to you was unfair and inhumane. To give up one's child Is one thing but to never visit them is downright twisted. Even now as I write this letter I question whether your alive or not. I haven't seen you in over ten years. Can you ever forgive me?    
                       

                       Though this isn't exactly a happy thank you letter, I just want you to know that you have changed me for the better. I spent most of my life blaming myself for what happened to you. Not living life nor appreciating it. You were my only ally in a house full of people that only cared about their own selfish needs. Your happiness was the only thing keeping me sane; with you gone there was nothing more for me.  After many years of self hate I came to the conclusion that you were honestly better of than I was. Though you never saw your family you had one of your own. I'm honestly happy that you were taken away from such a hostile environment, had you stayed there your light would have dimmed. I am also happy to announce that you are  now an uncle to a handsome, mischievous, ninja wannabe four year old. Through you I was able to learn and forget. You taught me that no matter what life throws at you, one must remain happy through all obstacles. I also learned that life's greatest joy is the ability to Love even in dark times.  Thank You for guiding me even though you were unaware of it. Thank you for loving me and  being the best brother any girl could ask for.  By the way, Nathan, who's your nephew looks just like you.....it's scary.

Ever loving

Your love is pure 

and gentle

You give with all your heart

and all your might.

You never questioned 

you lived

You embraced me

as no one has ever done before

You brought color

to my nonexistent life

You sought me

when no one else would

Your smile alone

vanquished all my demons

Your mere  presence 

conquered all my struggles

The magnitude of your love alone

brought me to my knees 

How can one being 

affect me so much

How can one person 

love and forgive so readily 

Your spirit is like no other

 gentle and all consuming 

People gravitate to you

like a moth to a flame

You bring joy to

those who are desolate 

and in need of love

You, my love, are a wonder

like no other